How to be obedient to a guru to attain perfection

If the guru tells his disciple to throw himself off the cliff, Krishna will protect him, the disciple should do so without questioning or doubting him. That is the meaning of an advanced and faithful devotee according to scriptures.

At night, it is difficult to distinguish a rope from a snake. I vaguely remember a discussion where Prabhupada explains that if the guru says it is a snake, then the disciple accepts the object as such. But if the guru changes his mind and declares that it is in fact a rope, the disciple readjusts his perception. But, again, if the guru decides otherwise, the perfect disciple has no problem believing him, because he has deeper knowledge. 

On the ideal platform, that is to say when the master is highly qualified, for example -if- he is a super madhyam adhikari, this scenario of obedience and faith is spiritually rewarding. But in down to earth life, gurus are mostly struggling to reach spontaneous devotional service, they hardly chant their sixteen rounds and control their senses. I will not give names. These are facts known to all senior devotees.

Consequently, the disciples who take these teachings modeled on the conduct of the super madhyam adhikari, that is pure devotees such as the Caitanya Charitamrita or the Srimad-Bhagavatam describe them, these disciples are sure to be cheated at one point or another by their spiritual master who they consider having reached the stage of spontaneous devotional service. If they are lucky enough, if their gurus are honest and serious, they may not go through this deceptive experience, still their life is messed up, since the instruction is to see him as non different from God. That instruction, when it is constantly reaffirmed by sadhana, becomes a strong faith or belief. 

Recently, Mahesvara das, a disciple of Prabhupada, in a conversation with me strongly denied that understanding as a belief. Most devotees think like him. In other words, it is not a belief to see the guru, for example Radhanatha or Giriraja swamis, as manifestations of paramatma, God Himself.

Of course, no guru today would ask his disciple to jump off a cliff or to take a rope for a snake against his perception. Irrationality and manipulation have their limits somewhat in the face of the judicial constraints of modern societies. These gross examples serve only to illustrate the ideal relationship between guru and disciple, as one can read them in the SB or the CC. The fact remains that the irrational and manipulation are still going on and are literally destroying the lives of devotees in search of perfection.

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The guru's implications in the family life of his disciples 

There is one area where this relationship between guru and disciple has wreaked considerable havoc — that of the couple. Very often, through immaturity and dogmatism, gurus have destroyed marriages by intruding into the intimate life of the couple and creating discord between the lovers.

The method most often used was to separate them against their will and send them into sankirtana to distribute books, or collect money (Lakshmi, this was called). The senior devotees, disciples of Prabhupada and others, participated in these manipulations with zeal. This spiritual gaslighting of which the guru was the source, claimed the doctrine of renunciation which was its lever: no illicit sex. The sexual act had to be useful, that is to say only for procreation; unrestrained pleasure was unacceptable and sinful. Thus, it was easy for the authorities to achieve their goal, because there was always one of the partners who did not live this absolute celibacy well and who handled their guilt poorly. Denouncing this so-called perverse act to the authorities was legitimate for a less intelligent woman.

Read more on sex life and initiation in Krishna consciousness