The Call of Sannyasa # 12

12

Tonight is no ordinary night. Vishvarupa is spending his last hours with his parents. He has nurtured this intention since his earliest youth; it is a decision that has matured within him over the years until becoming an overriding purpose. Moreover, his parents have been particularly attentive to him lately. They suspect something.

As the children have grown, so too have their parents' worries. It is not the "little one" who troubles them—at least not yet; he is too carefree, too cheerful, seeing the world as one grand circus. No, truly, they have no cause for concern on his account. It is the other son they would have liked to marry off as soon as possible. He cares for nothing but the sacred. The more he grows, the more taciturn and solitary he becomes. At home, he spends hours on end in the room dedicated to the worship of the Deities. His thoughts are fixed solely on the Saligram Shilas. Jagannath Mishra has already brought him several proposals — young women remarkable for their beauty, chastity, and intelligence — but it is like talking to a wall; his son has eyes only for Krishna.

He finally announces his irreversible decision to take the order of sannyasa. One can imagine the scene. In just a few minutes, he packs his bundle and bids farewell to his parents, who stand frozen in shock. His departure will plunge them into the deepest dismay for months to come. No one knows how to soothe their pain. Every word spoken seems only to fuel the fire consuming their hearts. Nothing helps. They can only rely on time, hoping it alone will eventually overcome their grief.

However, there are now serious concerns for their health. The minds of both parents are beginning to waver, and their memories are becoming clouded. Grief and tears have etched lines upon Sachidevi’s face, stripping away her radiance. Only Nimai manages to comfort them with his tenderness:

"Do not be so unhappy; Vishvarupa has done something we should be proud of; he has followed the voice of his conscience. Do not the injunctions of the Scriptures state that life is but a passage, and that the ideal is to devote oneself to spiritual welfare as early as possible? By his action, he frees you forever from the chains of the material world, and at the hour of death, you will return to God. Do not be so sad, for I am still here, and I will take care of you."

The attention and assurance Nimai shows them lift Sachidevi out of her deadly desolation. Nimai had also intended to commit to a religious life; had his brother not done so, it would have been he who left. He did not tell them then, for he did not want to cause them further pain. He therefore sincerely resolves to marry and remain with his parents.

But cruel fate strikes the family once again: after those long days of despair, Jagannath Mishra, overwhelmed by grief, can no longer survive and leaves this world, leaving his wife and son in deep mourning. Nimai recognizes the peril his mother is in and quickly takes the situation in hand. He spends his days by her side, constantly showering her with his love.

The coming months will be a dark tunnel of despair for Sachidevi. Then, little by little, she regains her reason and her zest for life. It is at this moment that Nimai devises a plan for the well-being of the family. He says to himself: "If I stay with my mother and renounce sannyasa, it is my duty to marry; otherwise, the life I wish to lead has no meaning. A house without a wife cannot be a home, for it is she who gives it purpose. Thus, man and woman can support each other on both the material and spiritual planes."

Around his fourteenth year, Nimai meets Lakshmidevi, a girl of his own age who goes to the Ganges to bathe and worship the demigods. Young maidens perform this ritual to obtain a handsome and valiant husband. Nimai notices the delicacy of her features and cannot help but approach her. Lakshmidevi immediately feels at ease with this playful, yet kind and charismatic boy.

In fact, both seem to have known each other forever, and a spontaneous love draws them together.* They spend the afternoon together, and on the way back, he alludes to a possible future union, to which she consents with a smile.

The wedding ceremony will be grandiose, and its description remains in the annals of Bengali Vaishnavism as a dazzling tableau of color, light, and joy.

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* Some traditions claim that Laksmidevi had previously appeared as Sita, the wife of Ramachandra, as well as Rukmini, the wife of Krishna.

Preceding chapter:  Definition of a Devotee # 11
Next chapter :  The Old Banana Leaf Vendor # 13